Hold your breath it gets better

"That’s the worst way to miss somebody. When they’re right beside you and you miss them anyway"
Pittacus Lore (via story-dj)
"All that we call human history — money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery — is the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy"
C. S. Lewis (via dailydoseofstuf)
saracastically:

toothless in 99i got a ton of toothless requests; so i made this one move
commissions are open

saracastically:

toothless in 99
i got a ton of toothless requests; so i made this one move

commissions are open

kenkofoto:

Weird Nose 02.

kenkofoto:

Weird Nose 02.

dynastylnoire:

every single morning

dynastylnoire:

every single morning

the mentalist starter sentences

  • "I'm sorry. He irks me. He's irksome."
  • "You're so twisted up in your own dishonesty that you have no idea how to act like a decent human being."
  • "Well, you date pregnant hookers and your dinosaur eats grass!"
  • "I can't imagine waking up knowing that I won't see you."
  • "He stood in my office, looked me in the eye, and lied to me, and I bought it."
  • "You don't give a damn about what I want or need. I am just a convenience for you. You use me. It's all about you."
  • "You're acting cool about stuff I know you can't be cool with."
  • "I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you."
  • "You are a terrible liar. I like that in a man."
  • "Even a broken clock gets to be right twice a day."
  • "Knowing what people secretly want is what I do."
  • "So we agree. I won't tell anyone if you don't."
  • "If there's one thing this job kills inside, it's a sense of trust."
  • "I understand you very well. Better than you do yourself."
  • "If I can't live on my terms, I'm in prison anyway."
  • "I'm not going to drop everything just because you decided to come back."
  • "I'm done with that life. I did what I had to do, and I've moved on."
  • "Turns out being understood is an underrated pleasure."
  • "Being sorry is far worse punishment than being dead."
  • "You're exactly the kind of man that does terrible things to women."
  • "Believe me, no matter how this turns out, I've made worse mistakes."
  • "He's either a habitual liar telling the truth, or an honest man lying."
  • "Trying to hide the truth chips away at your spirit."
  • "I didn't steal them. I rescued them from a terrible fate."
  • "You're the poster girl for the NRA."
  • "What's going on with you? Couldn't sit down, can't stay still. Guilt conscience?"
  • "What can I say? I always had a thing for the smart guys."
  • "You clean up very nicely, if you don't mind me saying so."
  • "Oh! You got an owwie."
  • "If there's one thing I can't tolerate, it's cheap imitations of my work."
  • "Three hours of brooding silence and then sarcasm. It's like we're married."
  • "What are you, like, five? A little patience here."
  • "Your taste for bad boys is a sad relic of your childhood mistreatment. No need to pick it back up again."
  • "You know that game that kids play? My dad can beat up your dad? No one ever played that with me."
  • "I have to kill you, but I'm doing it from a place of love."
  • "You look beautiful, like a princess. An angry little princess."
  • "Could've been worse. I could have married him."
  • "You should have gone to jail, you miserable sleazebag."
  • "Okay, you know what. You're a wicked charlatan and you're going to hell."
  • "Planning is easy. Reality's a lot harder."
  • "I was thinking love is strange. Then I was thinking about a sandwich."
  • "That man has the conscience of a mollusk."
  • "You'll be fine. Just don't be yourself."
  • "Really, really dead. Wicked Witch of the West dead."
  • "You recognized my footsteps. That's weird."
  • "You're very invested in this 'man in the iron face' routine, aren't you? I bet I could make you cry like a baby."
  • "I swear sometimes I think you need medication."
  • "I don't even need my gun, I can just hit you with my chair."
  • "I need you to visit me. It's really important, I need to see you. Also a blueberry muffin."
  • "The closest a man should come to touching a fitted sweater is helping a woman out of one."
  • "Are we sleeping together?"
  • "We all have to make hard choices. It doesn't make me evil."
  • "You've got a 'bad news' expression on your face."
  • "Deep down inside, you're a cruel man, aren't you?"
  • "I know, I know. You don't know whether to hug me or hit me."
  • "Don't try to divert me with insults."
  • "I didn't say I never did anything bad. I just never got caught."
  • "He's like you. He's all fierce on the outside and a softy on the inside and he's got this squishy little face."
  • "I just had a thoughtless impulse or an inspired hunch. I'm not sure which yet."
  • "Handcuffs, the latest educational tool."
  • "If you try to question her, or even talk to her, I will hurt you badly."
  • "I've been beaten far worse for a lot less."
  • "If you don't get the bad guy, then what's the point of all this?"
  • "Your temples are pulsing like some weird undersea creature. If that's not anger, you should see a doctor."
  • "She believes, poor soul, in a benevolent universe."
  • "He's like a drunk uncle."
  • "It's not gambling if you know you're going to win."
  • "Hell hath no fury like a slut outflanked."
  • "Will you please eat that like a normal human being and not a sea lion?"
  • "In case you haven't noticed, healing isn't my strong suit."

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